Dearest Clarity,
I've spent my entire afternoon filling out papers for court and it has drained every bit of energy I have. I keep telling myself it's worth it and I have to do it, for me, my daughter and her father. To fight for what is right and to hold him accountable. At the same time I feel like really? Is it worth it? It's just bringing up a lot of pain for me. I'm feeling really sad that it has turned out this way for all of us. I know I need to just keep on pushing forward but some days are harder than others and this is one of them. I struggled with deciding if I should post this because I don't want people to feel sorry for me, and I don't want to bring people down, but I think hard days are part of the healing process. Going to court was one of the hardest, scariest things I have ever faced in my life. I never imagined it was where we would have ended up, but I know it was the right thing to do, and I'm glad I went through with it, even though it feels horrible. Tomorrow is a new day!
The first time I went to court was one of the worst days of my life! Because I was still very emotionally attached and I had to go because assistance and family pushed me to, I HAD To go. BUT it was also my choice to go for FULL CUSTODY.....this is something that we are STILL in court fighting. T
ReplyDeletehe process IS extremely draining BUT it is something I NOW feel strongly about. Why should they NOT be accountable? They have a responsibility to these children they helped create. If they dont want to see them FINE but they BETTER pay their share. But for me the worst part is that, I raise these kids on my own, I have the everyday responsibilities, the headaches, the anger, the STRESSSSSS of everyday child raising and yet when their father comes whenever it is convenient for him, he feels he deserves "joint custody"????
This is what a have a problem with. He does not want to have "specific" days because right now he can not "commit" he has "alot going on" but yet he wants to have equal say?? This I find unfair. Am I wrong to feel this way????
I have put in the documents that I will discuss major decisions with him but I have the final say since the children are my responsibility, and under my care.
It is probably one of the most frustrating parts having to prove yourself and explain WHY you deserve to have full custody when they (judge/lawyers) don't know what we have to go through! This is so draining, but again we HAVE to look in the best interest of our children and do what is right, and it is our responsibility to hold their fathers accountable!
Sorry having a bad day today and I HAD to vent! I feel better now.... lol
I know! it is the hardest thing I have ever done too. I think it is important though, and since I have gone alot of the drama and insanity stoped. I think in a way it sort of organized the problem, if that makes any sense. Stay strong! You are doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteTalk soon!