Dearest Clarity,
I was speaking to a friend of mine today, and giving her my condolences because her Uncle just passed away. As we started talking about his death and how her family is coping, she asked me how they should tell her beautiful little niece. My friend said her niece was close to him and they aren't sure how to tell her. So I thought back to when I had to speak to my daughter about this, and what I said to her. As I have mentioned before I am a true believer in always being honest, so I told my daughter when my cousin passed away, that she had died. I told her it is a part of life, part of the life cycle. We are all born and we live our lives until it's time for us to go, and that is ok. I also think it is important to make it more about celebrating the life they did have and to remind them of the beautiful life they lived. Then of course, our super munchkins will probably ask, where are they now? That is when I told my daughter they go to Heaven, even though I'm not sure what I even believe happens, I feel like it gives them a concrete answer, a place to put them. I also found that giving them ideas of what they can do if they miss them helped. You can always look at old pictures and tell fun stories of your memories with them. Another activity I did with my daughter, was lighting a candle and saying a few words about the person, and telling them we would miss them but that they would remain in our hearts forever, and then we blew out the candle together. My daughter really enjoyed that. I think it gave her a chance to say goodbye and have closure. I think being honest and talking to our kids about death is a great way for them to start learning how to deal with disappointment, grief and letting go. Although we all wish they will never have to, we all know it's part of life.
I want to dedicate this post to my friend and her family.
Thinking of you! xo
I was speaking to a friend of mine today, and giving her my condolences because her Uncle just passed away. As we started talking about his death and how her family is coping, she asked me how they should tell her beautiful little niece. My friend said her niece was close to him and they aren't sure how to tell her. So I thought back to when I had to speak to my daughter about this, and what I said to her. As I have mentioned before I am a true believer in always being honest, so I told my daughter when my cousin passed away, that she had died. I told her it is a part of life, part of the life cycle. We are all born and we live our lives until it's time for us to go, and that is ok. I also think it is important to make it more about celebrating the life they did have and to remind them of the beautiful life they lived. Then of course, our super munchkins will probably ask, where are they now? That is when I told my daughter they go to Heaven, even though I'm not sure what I even believe happens, I feel like it gives them a concrete answer, a place to put them. I also found that giving them ideas of what they can do if they miss them helped. You can always look at old pictures and tell fun stories of your memories with them. Another activity I did with my daughter, was lighting a candle and saying a few words about the person, and telling them we would miss them but that they would remain in our hearts forever, and then we blew out the candle together. My daughter really enjoyed that. I think it gave her a chance to say goodbye and have closure. I think being honest and talking to our kids about death is a great way for them to start learning how to deal with disappointment, grief and letting go. Although we all wish they will never have to, we all know it's part of life.
I want to dedicate this post to my friend and her family.
Thinking of you! xo
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