YOUR GUTS ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND!

Dearest Clarity,

So how do you go about talking to 5 year old's about why they can't run off, or why you need to always be able to see them, or about what a stranger is.  Who is a stranger? What do they look like? When can you or can't you respond to a stranger? Why would a stranger want to hurt us?  These are just some of the billion questions my daughter and her friends have been asking lately.  I was discussing the subject with some parents today and after hearing everyone's stories and point of views, I felt like I knew what I wanted to say to my daughter.  

Ever since I was a little girl I remember always having this voice or feeling inside of me when I felt scared or nervous or uncomfortable.  I call this my gut.  If only I followed my gut feeling more in my life I would have avoided soooooo many wrong turns and decisions.  

I don't want to scare my daughter into thinking everyone is bad or scary, and I don't want her to live in fear, yet I know it's important that she is safe, understands that there are some dangers and ultimately has the courage to follow her gut.  You can't tell them at this young innocent age that there are pedophiles out there, how do you explain that?  It's too much for their young beautiful minds.  They wouldn't get it.  So when we got home from school today we had a talk about following your gut and what that means. I said, "think of a time when one of your friends have said you guys should do something, that you know you're not allowed to do."  "What did you feel like when they did that?"  She said, she felt nervous and a little scared because she didn't want to get into trouble.  I said, "so your gut told you it wasn't a good idea, right?"  She said, "I get it mommy! Your guts are your best friend! " That's right I said, "so if someone or something is ever making your gut feel funny or scared or uncomfortable, then you know it isn't good for you, and you need to get away from them or the situation and get help if you can." 

I wanted to share this cause I think it's a great way to start teaching our children to protect themselves.  They don't have to be scared or paranoid all the time, they just need to be careful, and they need to learn how to listen to themselves and how to trust themselves.  I also think it's a great reminder for us parents to do the same when we are making our many, not always easy parenting decisions.  :)

The Key To Happiness

I just watched this video on my friend Rachel's blog and thought it was really great, so I wanted to share it as well.  If you have some free time you should watch and listen, I think anyone can relate and walk away having gained something positive and meaningful. 

FLYING SOLO

Dearest Clarity,
One of the hardest parts about being a single parent, for me is the loneliness.  I'm having a hard night tonight.  It took me what felt like forever to get my daughter to bed.  She pulled out all her tricks! One more hug mommy? I'm thirsty,  I have to pee, I just want to tell you how much I love you! Cute? yes, but at the end of a long day all I want to do is have some me time.  All week she has been super attached to me and wont leave my side.  I finally got her to sleep and now I'm sitting here feeling relieved, but at the same time I have this overwhelming feeling of loneliness.  It's these moments  I just wish I had someone to vent to, or someone to hold me and say, oh man that was a tough night, someone to just be there who has just gone through it with me, who truly understands and loves her to pieces, exactly the same way I do.  

At the same time, while writing this I feel crazy because I do have sooooo many amazing and supportive friends and family, but for some reason in moments like this the loneliness is still there.  I'm writing this not to feel sorry for single parents or myself, but to share my truth of what it's like, because maybe just one parent out there might feel the same way, and take comfort in knowing that they aren't the only ones flying solo and really feeling it from time to time.

HAPPY PAINTING!

Dearest Clarity,
For the last month or so I have pretty much been lying in bed, on the couch, at the doctor's or in the hospital.  I am happy to say that it is now over! yaaaaay! Although I am still recovering and my body seems to need like 11 hours of sleep a day, it is looking up.  

During all of the insanity my daughter has been with different family members, babysitters and friends since I wasn't able to do much of anything.   I try as much as possible to take some time every weak for my daughter and I to have some real quality one on one time together.  Usually we draw, play a game, go out for breakfast or even a nice walk in the park.  I find this time almost re energizes both of us.  It feeds us in so many ways.  It strengthens our bond and gives my daughter some easy going, no pressure time to talk to me about what ever is on her mind.  Whenever we have this time together she almost always tells me about something  that's been bothering her, or she asks me questions about something I would have never known she was concerned with, or was interested in.  It is always a wonderful time that I think is super important for parents and their kids.  

I know life can be so busy that it is hard to fit this time in, but even if you go to their rooms a half an hour or fifteen minutes before bed time and read a book and then have some extra time to just talk, you will be surprised how much your munchkin will love it.  

Have you ever noticed when little ones are playing at a park or at a play date,  all of a sudden they will run up to their parents or caregiver, give them a two minute hug or just lean on them and then run off again?  I've always looked at it as kids needing to go to home base to refuel.  

Well as they get older they still need that, they just don't know it.  Since I've been feeling better I knew I needed to give my daughter that time.  I decided to get out our paints, a big canvas and create a wonderful painting together for her bedroom.  It was so much fun! It gave us both a chance to be creative, make something for our home and just hang out.  So, if your kids bedrooms are in need of some art or wall decor, save your money and make something together, you'll be glad you did it.
Happy Painting!