Facing your fears

Dearest Clarity,
My biggest fear in the last year, was the possibility of one day having to face my daughters father. Well it finally happened. It was so intense, and I was so nervous about how it would go. I couldn't help but think, it was gonna be as horrible as it was the last time I saw him, but it wasn't. I'm glad it finally happened because the anxiety of not knowing, was horrible. Not knowing if we would ever see him again or if he would ever come around to see our child again. I feel proud of myself for being strong enough to face him, and stand up for what I believe is best for our daughter. If he wants to be in her life again, he is gonna have to prove it. He has to gain her and my trust back, by showing us he can be reliable. Call when you say your gonna call and show up when you say your gonna show up. When I spoke to my daughter about her dad contacting me, she was not happy. She told me that she isn't ready to see him yet, and I told her that that's ok. When I asked her how it made her feel, she said sad, angry and scared. I was so proud of her for standing up for herself. I know she will come around eventually and want to see him, but until then I told her I am here for her no matter what, and it's up to her when she is ready to see him again. It's so important when kids go through intense things like this, that you communicate about there feelings and let them know that they are safe and have your support.

No matter what happens, I've learnt that putting the work into becoming the strongest person and family you can be, is the most important thing in the world. Yes, I want my daughter to have a relationship with her dad, but if he screws it up and doesn't follow through, we will be ok. We will be ok because we are mother and daughter, best friends, partners in crime and most importantly each others biggest supporters.