So last Saturday I put my daughter to bed, got into my comfy clothes and put in a movie. As I was watching the movie I started thinking, I wish I had someone here with me to share a glass of wine with, someone I could light some candles for and cuddle and enjoy the evening with. I felt depressed and lonely. I shed a few tears and just kept dwelling on how many nights I've spent on my own, wondering when it was gonna end and if I would ever meet anyone again, you know the usual sob story. Then all of a sudden this book I have of sayings of the Buddha, fell off the couch beside me. I picked it up and the page I opened it to said, "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment".
So I grabbed a glass of wine from the bottle I was saving to share with another, I lit the candles I was waiting to light for another and I had a wonderful night with myself. I concentrated on the present moment and made the best of it. I realized I can't change the past and I can't predict the future, so why not enjoy the moment. I deserve it and I enjoyed it and in a way it made me feel a sense of power. If I can be happy and comfortable and feel this good with myself, it will feel even better when I do have that person beside me because I wont NEED him there, I will just WANT him there and that I love.
Cheers!
I relate to this one so much.
ReplyDeleteWhat is wonderful about your attitude and so relatable is that you are realizing that it is "okay" to be "alone".... really, you are NOT alone....but as humans we long for a companion someone to be intamite (not sexually) but just feeling close and "wanted" by the opposite sex. Being comfortable in your own skin and enjoying your own company and being okay with having a movie night solo can be VERY empowering! You are realizing that your own company is the very best, you have time to think, relax, not worry about anyone but you.
I find it hard though when it comes to dating, Is it just me or do these guys now adays want sex right off the bat??? What happend to building a friendship, a respect, just enjoying eachothers company?
I know that I am DEF not ready to have a new realationship, my priority is my sanity lol and my children. I have movie nights with my girlfriends and just snuggle with them... hey at least I know then won't put any moves on me AND I don't have to worry about them calling/ texting me back .... freedom of the PEACE OF MIND!! Appreciate it!!!!
Thank you and hahahahaha you are so right. RESPECT is exactly what I want from a guy but I realized I was part of the problem cause I wasn't demanding it from guys. So now I am happy and content with myself and I have enough respect for myself, finally! to wait for the right guy that will treat me the way I deserve.
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