In the last week I've noticed my daughter misbehaving. She keyed our kitchen table and was purposely not listening to me. Last night when I was getting her ready for bed I saw her pushing all the towels hanging on our railing off onto the ground, this was out of character for her so I took her into the bedroom and asked her what was going on. "Why was she doing these things"? Like most 4 year olds she looked at me and said, "I don't know". So I said, "are you needing some attention about something?" "Are you feeling sad, mad?" She then began to cry and said she was ,"VERY ANGRY". After a long guessing game, she told me that she was angry that her dad doesn't want to see her. I took a deep breath and told her to grab a pillow. I told her to punch that pillow and she did. I then told her while you are punching the pillow say out loud what you are mad about, "LET IT OUT"! So while punching the pillow she yelled "I'm so mad at you daddy that you don't come to see me", she cried and yelled and I began to punch with her, together we let out our anger out ending in laughter while looking at each other flailing at this pillow. When we stopped I then gave her a speech about not doing destructive things when she was upset but to instead let it out in a positive way, whether it is punching a pillow, yelling, dancing, painting or just talking to someone about it.
It was a beautiful and powerful moment for me, to be there with my amazing daughter and see the strength she's had while having to work through these issues, surrounding her father leaving her at the age of 4. It is nothing but amazing! Instead of being sad that my daughter was so upset I was happy because I knew she was working through her feelings, and in my opinion that is the only way to let go and move on.
This is the exact reason I have started this blog. Being a single parent is the hardest thing I have ever done. I am so thankful that I have been given such support and wisdom from my mother and others, they have helped with the everyday obstacles my daughter and I have endured and now I WANT TO GIVE BACK!
So I invite you all to join me on this journey of single parenting, where we can help each other, teach each other and support each other through it.
It is a tough one but a beautiful one that I am finding can only make me stronger
I look forward to growing with you all!
This is so beautiful, raw, real and moving!
ReplyDeleteI am a woman who was raised by an amazing single mother as well and it made a world of difference.
Sounds like you're doing an amazing job.
I'll keep checking in on your blog for more updates.
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ReplyDeleteHi Molly,
ReplyDeleteI so enjoyed reading your blog. I can feel the absolute relevance to so many these days finding themselves in similar situations and not knowing what direction to take. As single parents identifying with our common joys and difficulties can be just what is needed. Simply having someone else to share with is very satisfying. I can sometimes feel so alone and instead of reaching out I isolate myself and go deeper into my wounds.
You, your blog is like a breath of fresh air during very difficult times.
Thanks and all the best to you and Clarity.
thank god for you an this blog. i really mean this. i am going through the same thing with my 8 and 3yr old. their father left a few months ago and has decided he doesn't want to do this anymore after living with them for most of their little lives. i am finally surrendering and coming to terms that it is his choice BUT we will be FINE no matter what. my acceptance doesn't always make it easy for me to explain to my babies. i wish they could consider him dead and gone (like me) but they still hold him in the highest regards. they love their dad to death. i will never take the image of "a great dad" from them b/c as they get older they will be able to see things clearly and judge him for themselves. i am a firm believer in "the law of attraction" and i believe i attracted this blog when i needed it the most. again thank god for you and this blog!
ReplyDeleteThroughout my life I have had many different dreams and ambitions; to play in the NHL, to be an astronaut, to be a recording artist and travel the world, but things change.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that hasn't changed is my dream, my goal, my desire to be a great father. A man that my child would be proud to call their daddy and look up to like I'm superman.
Although I'm not sure I am quite ready for this yet, I just wanted to say thank you for helping me in becoming that person. I have been reading your blog, and you are the most amazing parent I know, obviously second to my mom, haha.
But really, your ideas and methodologies are brilliant. I can only hope to be as good of a parent as you. You are an inspiring young lady, keep it up, I’m sure you will,