It's crazy how much you can learn about yourself when you take a step back. I've magically had the week off and I've been spending most of my time alone and at home, just doing simple things. This has given me the opportunity to do a lot of reflecting on my habits and behavior. The more stressed I get and the more tired I am, the more chaotic and bad my decisions seem to get. For example, instead of going to bed earlier, I stay up later. Instead of taking a soothing bath, I drink a glass of wine. Instead of feeding my soul by painting, I watch t.v., and the worse one of all is instead of having a relaxing night in, I want to go out till all hours of the night partying it up with my friends, forgetting the hell I will feel and be in the next day.
This week I tried something new. I haven't gone out on the town, I haven't numbed myself with wine and I haven't stayed up all night watching mindless t.v. Instead I've been going to bed early. I've been painting, cleaning, enjoying a cup of tea, taking baths and taking a step back. A step back to enjoy the things I have, make healthy decisions and do things that will feed me, make me stronger and enrich my life. It's the simple things we need that we forget. The simple things that can get lost in all the chaos.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
October 27, 2011
April 14, 2011
It'll Just Grow Back
My daughters hair has always been her thing. Meaning it's always been something everyone admired about her. She loved having long hair, and I can't lie so did I. It was beautiful, but it was also a lot of work. Especially with the summer months ahead, filled with swimming and hot, sweaty days. So we decided it was time to cut it. Nothing crazy, just about to her shoulders. When we got to my lovely friend Eva's, who is an amazing hairdresser by the way http://evatheresestudios.blogspot.com/ we both looked at each other and pretty much at the same time said, "we could donate her hair if we cut a bit more". It was one of those moments when you can just feel that it's the right thing to do.
So I looked at my baby and asked her what she thought about going a bit shorter. We straightened the part that we were going to donate, which was about 10 inches and showed her where we were gonna cut. I explained to her that her hair would be going to a child who was sick, and not able to grow their hair. After cutely asking why those kids don't just plant a seed on their heads to grow hair, it took her a few minutes but she agreed. I could tell that she was a bit hesitant, but I kept telling her don't worry it'll just grow back.
When it was all done and I saw the two braids of hair that were gonna be given to a beautiful child in need, it warmed my heart. I am so proud of my little girl, and although she doesn't quite understand what she's done, one day she will and I think she will be just as proud.
In case you are interested in donating here are some links you might want to check out.
http://www.locksoflove.org/
http://www.achildsvoicefoundation.com/
April 1, 2011
Acceptance
Acceptance means that you perceive reality accurately and consciously acknowledge what you perceive.
This may sound simple and obvious, but in practice it’s extremely difficult. If you experience chronic difficulties in a particular area of your life, there’s a strong chance that the root of the problem is a failure to accept reality as it is.
-Steve Pavlina
This may sound simple and obvious, but in practice it’s extremely difficult. If you experience chronic difficulties in a particular area of your life, there’s a strong chance that the root of the problem is a failure to accept reality as it is.
-Steve Pavlina
March 14, 2011
The Key To Happiness
I just watched this video on my friend Rachel's blog and thought it was really great, so I wanted to share it as well. If you have some free time you should watch and listen, I think anyone can relate and walk away having gained something positive and meaningful.
FLYING SOLO
Dearest Clarity,
One of the hardest parts about being a single parent, for me is the loneliness. I'm having a hard night tonight. It took me what felt like forever to get my daughter to bed. She pulled out all her tricks! One more hug mommy? I'm thirsty, I have to pee, I just want to tell you how much I love you! Cute? yes, but at the end of a long day all I want to do is have some me time. All week she has been super attached to me and wont leave my side. I finally got her to sleep and now I'm sitting here feeling relieved, but at the same time I have this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. It's these moments I just wish I had someone to vent to, or someone to hold me and say, oh man that was a tough night, someone to just be there who has just gone through it with me, who truly understands and loves her to pieces, exactly the same way I do.
At the same time, while writing this I feel crazy because I do have sooooo many amazing and supportive friends and family, but for some reason in moments like this the loneliness is still there. I'm writing this not to feel sorry for single parents or myself, but to share my truth of what it's like, because maybe just one parent out there might feel the same way, and take comfort in knowing that they aren't the only ones flying solo and really feeling it from time to time.
One of the hardest parts about being a single parent, for me is the loneliness. I'm having a hard night tonight. It took me what felt like forever to get my daughter to bed. She pulled out all her tricks! One more hug mommy? I'm thirsty, I have to pee, I just want to tell you how much I love you! Cute? yes, but at the end of a long day all I want to do is have some me time. All week she has been super attached to me and wont leave my side. I finally got her to sleep and now I'm sitting here feeling relieved, but at the same time I have this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. It's these moments I just wish I had someone to vent to, or someone to hold me and say, oh man that was a tough night, someone to just be there who has just gone through it with me, who truly understands and loves her to pieces, exactly the same way I do.
At the same time, while writing this I feel crazy because I do have sooooo many amazing and supportive friends and family, but for some reason in moments like this the loneliness is still there. I'm writing this not to feel sorry for single parents or myself, but to share my truth of what it's like, because maybe just one parent out there might feel the same way, and take comfort in knowing that they aren't the only ones flying solo and really feeling it from time to time.
January 18, 2011
TO SCHOOL FOR COOL
Dearest Clarity,
So I finally started school!!! which is why I haven't been around lately. I feel so funny wearing a back-pack again! Maybe because I'm so damn short, I look like I should be going to high school when I have it on. haha! I feel like such a nerd too, yesterday I had to ask these girls in my class to be quiet because I wanted to hear the lecture, and I sit in the front row! These are things I never would have done in high school, because back then I thought I was too cool for school, and that is the very reason I'm still having to go to school now. Oh well! You live and you learn, right?
I have to say it is pretty intense. I've really had to change a lot of my habits and my daughters. Getting her to fall a sleep on her own is one of them, which I'm just beginning to think is never gonna happen! :( Also getting myself to sleep earlier is not working out so much, no matter how tired I am. I just cherish my down time at night so much, I never want it to end! It's the only time as a parent I feel I can really just chill out.
On a good note, I am feeling really good about being back in school. I know I'm doing the right thing and I feel like I'm on the right path finally, which feels great. It's been a long, crazy journey so far and I really feel like its just gonna get better and better from here.
At school I am studying child development. It is so interesting to learn about our little munchkins and to see where I've gone right, and where I've gone wrong. Well, where I've gone wrong was a bit hard to swallow but there is no such thing as a perfect parent. That's the one thing Ive gotten out of my classes so far, that I'm thankful for. I can be so hard on myself when it comes to being a mom, but I'm realizing we can only do the best we can as parents. As long as we are acting and making decisions out of love and respect for ourselves and our children, we will be alright.
Well wish me luck! I 'm gonna get back to my readings now, cause I am proud to say that I am no longer to cool for school, I am now too school for cool! :)
So I finally started school!!! which is why I haven't been around lately. I feel so funny wearing a back-pack again! Maybe because I'm so damn short, I look like I should be going to high school when I have it on. haha! I feel like such a nerd too, yesterday I had to ask these girls in my class to be quiet because I wanted to hear the lecture, and I sit in the front row! These are things I never would have done in high school, because back then I thought I was too cool for school, and that is the very reason I'm still having to go to school now. Oh well! You live and you learn, right?
I have to say it is pretty intense. I've really had to change a lot of my habits and my daughters. Getting her to fall a sleep on her own is one of them, which I'm just beginning to think is never gonna happen! :( Also getting myself to sleep earlier is not working out so much, no matter how tired I am. I just cherish my down time at night so much, I never want it to end! It's the only time as a parent I feel I can really just chill out.
On a good note, I am feeling really good about being back in school. I know I'm doing the right thing and I feel like I'm on the right path finally, which feels great. It's been a long, crazy journey so far and I really feel like its just gonna get better and better from here.
At school I am studying child development. It is so interesting to learn about our little munchkins and to see where I've gone right, and where I've gone wrong. Well, where I've gone wrong was a bit hard to swallow but there is no such thing as a perfect parent. That's the one thing Ive gotten out of my classes so far, that I'm thankful for. I can be so hard on myself when it comes to being a mom, but I'm realizing we can only do the best we can as parents. As long as we are acting and making decisions out of love and respect for ourselves and our children, we will be alright.
Well wish me luck! I 'm gonna get back to my readings now, cause I am proud to say that I am no longer to cool for school, I am now too school for cool! :)
January 3, 2011
Balance
Gosh its been a while since I've written! The holiday's were so crazy, as usual. My daughter and I were super duper sick for half of it, but managed to get better just in time for our Christmas celebration, which was wonderful!
I hope you all had a magical time with your friends and family as well!
We took down our tree yesterday, which is always a sad moment for me, cause it's my favourite part of Christmas! ( I know I'm a bit of a child) At the same time though, I always feel like its the last clean up, or the real ending before the new beginning. The beginning of a fresh start for everyone, a new year! I used to think New years resolutions were stupid because let's face it, half the time people don't end up following through with them, but this year I am happy to say that I have a different attitude.
Whether you follow through or not, I think making that resolution or decision to change something for the better, is always a positive thing. This year, mine is to try and slow down a bit, enjoy what I have, who I have, and all the little things in life that we tend to let pass by, or take for granted.
I think what I really want is BALANCE! Something I know I've always needed to work on. I tend to do everything in extremes which is no good. For example, I want to loose weight, so normally I would say ok, no more wine, no more carbs, no more sugar, run every day. Ive come to realize, doing things in extremes like that never works. So I've decided I am going to have a balance, cut down my portion sizes in everything I do. When I eat, drink, socialize, work, clean, all of it. So this is my challenge for myself, and anyone else out there who feels that they too can benefit from balance.
Let's have a great year!
December 14, 2010
SNOW ANGELS
When I looked outside this afternoon and saw all the snow falling I thought, oh man! here comes another bitter, cold, depressing winter :( Then I picked my daughter up from school and the smile on her face when she walked outside to see the winter wonderland, was priceless. Yyyaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!! is all you could hear coming out of all the kids mouths. They were running, sliding, throwing snowballs, eating snow (eewww gross, but you all know you've tride it!) and of course my favorite, making snow angels.
It was so magical! I felt like a kid again. Instead of thinking negatively the way I did about the snow when I first saw it, I felt happy and thankful and refreshed. I even made a snow angel with my daughter, side by side. It was pretty funny, the funniest part being that our angels were almost the same size! Hahahaha!
So today I was reminded once again how special our little munchkins are. They really do shine a light on everything!
November 29, 2010
THANK YOU!!!!
Dearest Clarity,
In the last week or so, I have noticed how much my daughter has been complaining and constantly focusing on the things she doesn't have, instead of what she does have. I wish I could have that toy! How come I can't do that! It's no fair that you are going out! Aaaaaahhhh! It is driving me crazy!!!!!! So I decided that every night when we are cuddling together, getting ready for her to close her beautiful eyes and rest her precious munchkin mind and body, we will think and reflect on all that we have.
We take turns saying at least one thing we feel thankful for. Yesterday she was thankful for getting to do crafts, and today it was for spending time with her Nonna (grandmother). It's so important to remind ourselves and our children of all that we have. It's so easy to feel sorry for ourselves, and dwell on the negative when you are so drained and stressed. I know I'm guilty of it too, at times. We forget how lucky we are just to have each other, shelter, water, love and freedom. All the simple things that so many people in this world don't have. So today and from now on, I am gonna make it my mission to say thank you!
In the last week or so, I have noticed how much my daughter has been complaining and constantly focusing on the things she doesn't have, instead of what she does have. I wish I could have that toy! How come I can't do that! It's no fair that you are going out! Aaaaaahhhh! It is driving me crazy!!!!!! So I decided that every night when we are cuddling together, getting ready for her to close her beautiful eyes and rest her precious munchkin mind and body, we will think and reflect on all that we have.
We take turns saying at least one thing we feel thankful for. Yesterday she was thankful for getting to do crafts, and today it was for spending time with her Nonna (grandmother). It's so important to remind ourselves and our children of all that we have. It's so easy to feel sorry for ourselves, and dwell on the negative when you are so drained and stressed. I know I'm guilty of it too, at times. We forget how lucky we are just to have each other, shelter, water, love and freedom. All the simple things that so many people in this world don't have. So today and from now on, I am gonna make it my mission to say thank you!
July 28, 2010
Sooooo Damn Refreshing!!!!!
Dearest Clarity,
So I just finished watching the MTV documentary, Drake Better Than Good Enough. I felt like I wanted to share part of it with you all, because it really touched me. To hear a guy be so honest and real about who he is, without caring about being a tough guy or hard is so nice. To hear the way he talks about his mother, who is a single parent is moving and beautiful. To hear him acknowledge all she has done for him, and how much she is responsible for who he is, is touching. When I was listening to him talk about her, I could feel the love and respect he has for her, and I thought it was beautiful. His humility, honesty and ability to be emotional is just so damn refreshing! These are all qualities that I think are part of what makes a real man, I have to give it to his mom, she did a great job!
In celebration of single mothers!
This is proof that we can do it, and it's all worth it!
(starts at 5:36)
So I just finished watching the MTV documentary, Drake Better Than Good Enough. I felt like I wanted to share part of it with you all, because it really touched me. To hear a guy be so honest and real about who he is, without caring about being a tough guy or hard is so nice. To hear the way he talks about his mother, who is a single parent is moving and beautiful. To hear him acknowledge all she has done for him, and how much she is responsible for who he is, is touching. When I was listening to him talk about her, I could feel the love and respect he has for her, and I thought it was beautiful. His humility, honesty and ability to be emotional is just so damn refreshing! These are all qualities that I think are part of what makes a real man, I have to give it to his mom, she did a great job!
In celebration of single mothers!
This is proof that we can do it, and it's all worth it!
(starts at 5:36)
July 26, 2010
I'm baaaaaaaack!
Dearest Clarity,
It's been a while since I've blogged. I guess I got a bit discouraged and unmotivated. I have had a lot of changes and challenges come up in my life, and when I get stressed or depressed I tend to withdraw from everything I can. I know it's a bad habit and I'm trying to break it. I've missed blogging, and I know how much it helped me, it felt almost like therapy in a way. So I feel that I want to go back to my first post, and again, invite you all to join me on this journey of single parenting, where we can help each other through it. It is a tough one that I am finding can only make me stronger.
I look forward to growing with you all!
Molly xo
It's been a while since I've blogged. I guess I got a bit discouraged and unmotivated. I have had a lot of changes and challenges come up in my life, and when I get stressed or depressed I tend to withdraw from everything I can. I know it's a bad habit and I'm trying to break it. I've missed blogging, and I know how much it helped me, it felt almost like therapy in a way. So I feel that I want to go back to my first post, and again, invite you all to join me on this journey of single parenting, where we can help each other through it. It is a tough one that I am finding can only make me stronger.
I look forward to growing with you all!
Molly xo
June 3, 2010
Jessica's "Daily Affirmation"
So adorable, we should all do this everyday. Think about all the things we have and be thankful. Love this video!
Thanks for sharing Rach! xo
May 19, 2010
Will Smith & Jada Smith ON OPRAH - HIPHOPNEWS24-7.COM
This is what I'm talking about! Love love love love love them! Please listen to this, this is what parenting and loving each other is all about!
May 14, 2010
Sade - Babyfather
Love this song, love this video, love Sade! If you don't have her new album Soldier of Love, you should get it.
Enjoy!
April 26, 2010
A clear space is a clear mind
Dearest Clarity,
Everyday I've been trying to keep my home as clean and neat as possible, which isn't easy with kids around. At least once a week, I try to make sure I get at least one important chore or task done, besides the usual day to day stuff. I'm talking about cleaning out a closet, going through my daughters toys or clothes, and getting rid of whatever she doesn't need anymore. Today my daughter and I did just that. It felt so good to declutter and it was a great way to teach her how to be tidy and organized. When we were finished and looked around at our tidy home, I said "Now doesn't that feel good, to sit in a clean home without stuff everywhere?" She agreed "Yes Mommy, it makes me feel really happy!" I started thinking about how much the space I keep is a reflection of my state of mind. When I'm depressed, sad or destructive, my place is a messy disaster. When I'm happy, clear and in a good place mentally and emotionally, my place is tidy and clean. As I'm writing I'm looking around and remembering what my mom always said and still says, A clear space is a clear mind!http://http//www.canadianliving.com/health/mind_and_spirit/6_ways_to_clean_up_your_home_life.php
Everyday I've been trying to keep my home as clean and neat as possible, which isn't easy with kids around. At least once a week, I try to make sure I get at least one important chore or task done, besides the usual day to day stuff. I'm talking about cleaning out a closet, going through my daughters toys or clothes, and getting rid of whatever she doesn't need anymore. Today my daughter and I did just that. It felt so good to declutter and it was a great way to teach her how to be tidy and organized. When we were finished and looked around at our tidy home, I said "Now doesn't that feel good, to sit in a clean home without stuff everywhere?" She agreed "Yes Mommy, it makes me feel really happy!" I started thinking about how much the space I keep is a reflection of my state of mind. When I'm depressed, sad or destructive, my place is a messy disaster. When I'm happy, clear and in a good place mentally and emotionally, my place is tidy and clean. As I'm writing I'm looking around and remembering what my mom always said and still says, A clear space is a clear mind!http://http//www.canadianliving.com/health/mind_and_spirit/6_ways_to_clean_up_your_home_life.php
April 15, 2010
Dealing with grief
My mom told me about this video today. She saw it on television last night, and thought it was really great. I just watched it and I agree. Talking to our children about loss and death is never an easy task, and I think this video has some great ideas on how to deal with the subject. I think it can be useful even if a parent hasn't passed away but is just absent for whatever reason. If you have some time give it a try and hopefully you will get something out of it.
April 10, 2010
Today is a hard one!
Dearest Clarity,
Every once and a while, especially around holidays, birthdays or any big events (her 1st loose toof!) I really feel so sad about my daughter not having a father around and for me not having somebody. As much as I love it just being me and my munchkin, I crave having a man around, someone to make dinner with, laugh at my munchkins silly questions. Someone to to cuddle on the couch with after putting her to bed, someone to create another child with so my baby can have the brother or sister she wants so badly. Someone to explore with, make mistakes with and learn new things with. The hardest part about wanting this, is that I know my daughter wants it even more. I try my best to be positive and believe it will happen if it's meant to happen, but some days are harder than others, and today is a hard one. The one thing i realized though while writing this, is that for the first time I can honestly say, I hope I meet someone not because I need to but because I want to!
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