WIGGLY TOOF!

Dearest Clarity,

For the first time my daughter has a loose tooth or as she would say a wiggly toof! We were both so excited when we discovered it, but as it's gotten wigglier and wigglier she has gotten more and more anxiety about it coming out. Some of her questions were, when is it gonna come out? Is it gonna bleed to death? hahahaha! If it falls out how will I catch it, will I choke on it? The list goes on as you can imagine. When my mom was babysitting my munchkin the other day, she got her to write a letter to the Tooth Fairy. This seemed to help her get excited about the whole process again, and it was damn cute! Then today I found some great videos on YouTube of little kids pulling there own teeth out or parents helping them to wiggle it out. We watched them together and then she let me help her loosen her tooth. It's not out yet but it will be any day now, I'll keep you posted on how the actual main event goes down. So if your munchkins get nervous hopefully these activities can help them feel better, because as my daughter now says having a wiggly toof is so much fun!

A Book For My LADIES!

Dearest Clarity,

I was given this book about a year ago, and it really made me look at myself and understand why my relationships have turned out the way they have, and why I have attracted all the wrong guys. I recently gave it to a friend to read and she read it within a few days. She was messaging me a few times a day FREAKING out because she couldn't believe how much she could relate. I'm so happy I passed it on to her, and that it has helped her like it did me. It will bring up a lot and can be a bit emotional and draining but in the end you will feel so happy you read it. It will help give you clarity and inspire you to change your love habits for the better. So if you find you always meet the wrong guys, have relationships full of drama and unhealthy emotions and feelings, this book is for you! I encourage all you ladies out there to give it a try, I guarantee you will get something out of it. All the books I've read that have changed my life I call my Bible's, and this is one of them! I'm thankful it was given to me and I hope it gives to you like it did to me. Happy Reading!

A SPECIAL BOX AND A SMILE :)

Dearest Clarity,

Dealing with having an absent parent is not easy for children, especially when they remember them once being there. As much as I wish my daughter would just forget him, I know that's just not reality. I'm sure with time, as she grows and matures it will become easier for her to understand and deal with. In the meantime, I feel that it is up to me to help guide her and give her different tools to deal with this hurtful and difficult situation she's been given. As I tell her all the time, I know she will be OK and I know she has the strength and courage to get through this and move on, but for a four year old it can be a lot to deal with. 

She has recently started to get rid of anything in her room that reminds her of her dad. Pictures, books, toys, anything that he had given her. She brought them to me and told me that she doesn't want them in her room but she also doesn't want me to throw them out. She said every time she is in her room she gets sad because she sees these things and thinks of him. So I took the books and toys and put them in a safe place, and if she ever wants them she can ask me for them. I then decided that it would be a good idea to have her make a special box for herself, where she can keep any pictures of him or anything to do with anything that is personal and special to her. So I took an old shoe box got some paint, stickers and markers and gave them to her, so she could create this special box for herself. I sat with her while she made it and we ended up having a great conversation about what the box meant to her, and how she was happy she was going to have her own special place to put her special things. A piece of my heart breaks every time I see my daughter feeling depressed or crying about her dad. No little munchkin deserves to have someone abandon them like that, but when I look at her and see her strength and what a beautiful, smart, caring girl she is turning out to be, my heart heals and I smile. I believe in her, I love her and I am so thankful for her!

Wai Lana's Little Yogis

Here is a picture of the children's Yoga kit I was telling you about.

LITTLE YOGIS!

I don't know about all of you parents out there, but getting my munchkin to do something on her own is not always easy. Sometimes I just need to get some work done, take a shower or cook a meal, without her hanging off of me. I also think that getting kids to do things on their own is a healthy thing. Some of you parents are blessed with munchkins who are good at playing on their own and some aren't, like myself. One of my best friends got my daughter a really cute and funny Yoga video for kids. It came with a kids Yoga mat as well as a poster with all the Yoga poses on it and the names of them. This has been one activity she looooves to do and she does it on her own! It is a fun and simple Yoga video with a woman named Wai Lana and a bunch of kids as well. It is a great way to stretch their muscles, strengthen their bodies and improve their balance and coordination. I wanted to share this with you all because I think it's a fun and healthy way for our kids to start taking care of their precious bodies and a great way for us parents to get some time to do whatever we might need to do. So if your munchkins birthday is coming up or one of their friends birthdays then this is a great gift to give. Let's create some LITTLE YOGIS!

Comments

Hello everybody!

I have been told that people are having trouble leaving comments. I'm not sure why and I'm trying to fix it, but in the meantime if you write a comment and try to post it, and it says it can't do it, just click it again and it should work. Sorry it's not working, I hope you are all enjoying the blog. Lot's more to come!

xo Molly

Run's House!

Dearest Clarity,

This might not be for everybody but My daughter and I were watching our favourite show tonight, Run's House. It is about Rev Run who used to be a member of the legendary group RUN DMC and his family. It is on MTV or if you don't have cable like me, you can watch it online at http://www.mtv.ca/ I wanted to bring it to peoples attention because I think they are amazing role models as parents and as a family unit. The way they approach parenting, I think is amazing. My daughter and I both find it hilarious and we have both learnt a lot from it. They have six children , the three oldest are from a different mother and the youngest is adopted. Throughout the six seasons of this reality show, you get to live through the obstacles and challenges they face as parents, a married couple, a family and as kids in all different stages. The way they discipline, communicate, laugh, love and approach life, to me is inspirational. I think they are a beautiful, loving, fun family that works hard at being a solid unit, one we can all learn from. So I encourage you to give it a try.

They also have a book out called Take Back Your Family, a Challenge to America's Parents which I also think is great. Here are a few of my favourite episodes.

http://www.mtv.ca/tvshows/runs-house/video_content.jhtml?id=1559229

http://www.mtv.ca/tvshows/runs-house/video_content.jhtml?id=1580189

http://www.mtv.ca/tvshows/runs-house/video_content.jhtml?id=1614548

http://www.mtv.ca/tvshows/runs-house/video_content.jhtml?id=1614073

Nice to meet you!

Dearest Clarity,

I don't know about all of you mommy's out there but I feel like I've been trying to get to know myself all over again. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, a few months after my daughter was born and thinking wow, I don't even know who I am any more. I would look down at her precious face, and the intense love I felt for her was so overwhelming. As silly as it might sound to some, I often cried at night when I was feeding my daughter from the intense feeling of love I felt. For me, giving birth and having this being that I love more than life, changed everything. What I believed in, my values, my morals, what I wanted, who I wanted, it was like I had to get to know myself all over again. I was thinking back to the choices I used to make when it came to my priorities, guys, school, my career and I had it all wrong. I thought thank god! thank god! that I had my beautiful daughter because the amount of lessons I've learnt from this experience is priceless. 

I'm so thankful for my experience so far as a mother, and all it has brought to my life and who I am today. I want to go to school now, I want a great guy who will treat me like a Queen, I want to make a difference in the world, I want to be a good person, daughter, sister, wife, friend and mother. I guess what I'm trying to say, is I am so happy I had to get to know myself all over again, cause I love the person I've met. It has taken me the last few years to get to this point, but I finally feel like I am at peace with who I am. I fought the new me hard! I tried to go back to who I was, but it did nothing but bring me pain. I have officially surrendered to who I am today, what my life is today, and I am happy. From this, I've learnt that if you are not in the reality of your situation your never gonna grow or get any where, because you're not in your truth. Sure I miss the freedom and often dream of what could have bin, but I am ready to live in the moment, in my truth. I am a single mother going back to school ready to work hard and create a beautiful life for me and my daughter and I love that!

PROUD TO BE CANADIAN!

I know this has nothing to do with my blog but I think it's really awesome, so I wanted to share. They did such a good job and we pretty much killed the new version of We Are The World, so Enjoy and be proud to be Canadian!

Speak to me!

I love hearing good quotes. I feel like they can really inspire, put things in perspective and remind us of things we forget. Here are some of my recent favourites. Enjoy!

"I blame my mother for nothing, and I forgive her for everything."
-Mary J Blige

"We've got this gift of love but love is like a precious plant, you can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard, or just think it is going to get on by itself, you've got to keep watering it, you've got to really look after it and nurture it."
-John Lennon

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
-Martin Luthar King

"When the student is ready, the teacher appears."
-Sidney Poitier

"It is wise to first know yourself before sharing yourself."
-Unknown

"True friends stab you in the front."
-Oscar Wild

"Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too."
-Will Smith

WAITING FOR THE BEST OF THE BEST!

Dearest Clarity,
My daughter has recently decided she wants me to have another baby. I believe this new desire was born from seeing most of her friends becoming big brothers and sisters. I thought this conversation was adorable, and one that others may relate to, so I wanted to share it with you all. Now of course, we all know that when our munchkins want something, the questions begin.

Munchkin: Mommy, can you have another baby?

Me: Maybe one day if I meet someone and fall in love, and we decide we would like to have a baby.

Munchkin: Someone told me that when boys like girls, they ask them out on dates. How come no one is asking you out on a date?

Me: Thanks for rubbing it in! hahahahaha!

Munchkin: Mommy, so when are you gonna get a boyfriend and get married so we can have a baby?

Me: Well my love, I'm waiting until I meet the best man I can meet. Someone who is funny, smart, respectful, fun, and a good person, someone we both want to make a part of our family. We are just gonna have to be patient.

Munchkin: Ya mommy, we have to be patient, cause we are gonna wait for the best of the best!

Me: Ha! That's right, I love you!

Munchkin: I love you too!

Happy Queen

Dearest Clarity,

The last few times I wrote on my blog, I started to think about where I've gotten a lot of this wisdom, these ideas and approaches on parenting and my life. I think it is so important to be thankful for what we have, and who we have in our lives. In order to be thankful, I think you need to not only feel it but say it. So I think it is important that I thank my mom for all that she has done for me. I wouldn't be the mom I am today if it wasn't for her. She has taught me sooooo much about being a woman, a mother and a friend. She has taught me to respect myself, others, the earth and the soul and spirit. She is a beautiful, smart, fun and special lady, and I am so thankful to have her as my mother and as my daughter's grandmother.

Mom, my Happy Queen, I love you and I Thank You! xoxo

The Watering Can

This is a beautiful art piece which was displayed at an exhibit in Berlin. It is done by one of my best friends. She comes from a single parent home, and has been a great support for me through my journey so far, as a single mother. I am thankful for what she has brought to my life. She has given me great insight on how to deal with my daughters questions and feelings, from sharing memories of what it was like for her. Everyone is brought into each other's lives for a reason and this one to me is so clear. So I dedicate this post to my sister friend and her beautiful inner child. XOXO

Enjoy!

http://evewithoutadam.net/blog/eve/piece-no-1-the-watering-can

MAD, SAD or GLAD

Dearest Clarity,

I was speaking to a parent today at my daughter's school and she was telling me how she is having a really hard time with her son. He is really acting out and she knows it is because he is upset, but she can't get him to communicate what he is feeling. It reminded me of when I was taking a life skills class in college, and we had an entire class based on feeling words and being able to identify our feelings. I couldn't believe how many people weren't able to do it, and these were adults. When I went home that day I sat with my daughter and together we made a list of feeling words, and drew pictures beside them. Once we finished the chart, we went through all the words we came up with and acted them out. We made funny faces and crazy noises, expressing all the different feelings which was a lot of fun. When my daughter would get upset and couldn't communicate it to me, I would bring out the chart and ask her to point to the picture that represented what she was feeling. It really helped her understand what feelings were and all the different types of feelings we all have. I think we often expect our kids to just know how to communicate. How are they supposed to know how to tell us if they're mad, sad or glad if they've never been taught how.

It's part of life

Dearest Clarity,
I was speaking to a friend of mine today, and giving her my condolences because her Uncle just passed away. As we started talking about his death and how her family is coping, she asked me how they should tell her beautiful little niece. My friend said her niece was close to him and they aren't sure how to tell her. So I thought back to when I had to speak to my daughter about this, and what I said to her. As I have mentioned before I am a true believer in always being honest, so I told my daughter when my cousin passed away, that she had died. I told her it is a part of life, part of the life cycle. We are all born and we live our lives until it's time for us to go, and that is ok. I also think it is important to make it more about celebrating the life they did have and to remind them of the beautiful life they lived. Then of course, our super munchkins will probably ask, where are they now? That is when I told my daughter they go to Heaven, even though I'm not sure what I even believe happens, I feel like it gives them a concrete answer, a place to put them. I also found that giving them ideas of what they can do if they miss them helped. You can always look at old pictures and tell fun stories of your memories with them. Another activity I did with my daughter, was lighting a candle and saying a few words about the person, and telling them we would miss them but that they would remain in our hearts forever, and then we blew out the candle together. My daughter really enjoyed that. I think it gave her a chance to say goodbye and have closure. I think being honest and talking to our kids about death is a great way for them to start learning how to deal with disappointment, grief and letting go. Although we all wish they will never have to, we all know it's part of life.

I want to dedicate this post to my friend and her family.
Thinking of you! xo

Tomorrow is a new day!

Dearest Clarity,
I've spent my entire afternoon filling out papers for court and it has drained every bit of energy I have. I keep telling myself it's worth it and I have to do it, for me, my daughter and her father. To fight for what is right and to hold him accountable. At the same time I feel like really? Is it worth it? It's just bringing up a lot of pain for me. I'm feeling really sad that it has turned out this way for all of us. I know I need to just keep on pushing forward but some days are harder than others and this is one of them. I struggled with deciding if I should post this because I don't want people to feel sorry for me, and I don't want to bring people down, but I think hard days are part of the healing process. Going to court was one of the hardest, scariest things I have ever faced in my life. I never imagined it was where we would have ended up, but I know it was the right thing to do, and I'm glad I went through with it, even though it feels horrible. Tomorrow is a new day!

Just Dance!

Dearest Clarity,
One of me and my daughter's favourite things to do together is dance! It's a way for us to bond and have fun. We take turns picking our favourite songs and just let loose and let go. This is an amazing tool for kids and us adults to dance through our anger, sadness, fears and anything we have been hanging on to, that we need to let go. My munchkin and I have laughed, cried and sang at the top of our lungs together while dancing to the beat of our own drum. It's soooooo therapeutic and not to mention a great way to teach them about all the amazing music from past generations! So after you read this, pick a day or night this week, put on some music with your kids and just DANCE!

BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT!

Dearest Clarity,
The other day I bought my daughter a book about all different types of families. I got her this book to show her that she is not the only one without a dad. Some kids only have a dad and no mom and some have two moms or two dad's, and on and on. It is an amazing book that I highly recommend. It's called Who's in a Family, by Robert Such. I got it at an amazing book store called Another Story Bookshop at 315 Roncesvalles. They have an amazing selection of books for kids to help them deal with so many different issues.

When I got home I read this book to my daughter and explained what it meant. We had a great discussion about different families and she seemed to really enjoy knowing that, and looking at the pictures of them. At the back of the book there is a page that gives your child an opportunity to draw their family, and the people who take care of them. My daughter grabbed her markers and started drawing. She finished and said "look mommy, I'm done". I looked up and saw that she drew a picture of her father and his mother, her grandmother. Well I just stared at it and the anger just took over my body, I was sweating and ready to have a full out raging fit. Instead I took a deep breath and walked away. I had to breathe and centre myself, to get back to the reality of the situation. She is only four and I know she loves me and is grateful for me. I also started realizing that she drew that because that is her greatest desire, I had to look at it from her perspective. I walked back in the room and said those pictures are great but here is another piece of paper, now let's draw what the book was talking about. So together we drew and coloured her family, the people who take care of her. I didn't want to say she couldn't draw them because she can and they are her family, but I also thought it was important that she is in reality, a lot of kids in these situations can stay in a fantasy world and I think it is important to let them have there thoughts and dreams, but to also support them in what is the truth.

I am telling this story to show that not reacting from our anger and rage is so important. There are gonna be many more situations where this sort of thing is gonna come up, but as examples to our children we need to walk away and just breathe in and breathe out. Go back when your ready and deal with it. If we don't and we react right away, that is when we are gonna make the mistake of bashing the absent parent or saying hurtful things to them. It's not their fault so they don't deserve that. I am a big believer in not bashing the other parent, you need to be honest but in a respectful way. If you don't it will do nothing but hurt them and teach them that it is ok to react that way when your angry, and that talking about people like that is ok and it is not. So next time you are in this situation, I ask you to walk away and BREATHE IN and BREATHE OUT!